Tag Archives: politics of motherhood

“Abortion is not about babies…it’s a matter of survival for women.”

Two years ago, today, I sat on the couch, stunned, as I read the news that another abortion provider had been killed.

It was a Sunday morning when Dr. George Tiller, perhaps the country’s most controversial, and steadfast, abortion provider was shot while attending church. I was reading the news online, as I did, when I saw the headline. My heart sank, and my rage rose. Tiller wasn’t the first provider to be ruthlessly murdered, and sadly, he probably won’t be the last (just last week a man in Wisconsin was arrested for plotting the first-degree murder of an abortion provider).

The elections of 2010 drove home the absolute, unqualified reminder that women’s right to safe, and accessible abortion is under assault. The Guttmacher Institute has tracked over 900 pieces of anti-choice legislation. According to the San Francisco Chronicle,  in April alone, 33 anti-choice laws were passed in 9 states. Last week the House of Representatives Committee on Rules rejected an amendment that would have reversed the ban on insurance covered for abortion for military rape survivors. (The Hyde Amendment bans federal funds from being used to pay for abortions. Since military insurance in funded by federal money…)I could go on. In fact, I could go on for HOURS. There is THAT much anti-choice activity right now.

But I digress. I started this blog to ask everyone to take a minute and reflect on George Tiller’s death. Watch this video where he talks about what it means to be a “Woman educated physician.”

He says, “Abortion is not about babies, it’s not about families….it is a matter of survival for women.” And he’s absolutely right. Abortion is about survival for women. Think about that. Survival. Not pleasure, not convenience – SURVIVAL.

Sign up for action alerts from NARAL, and Planned Parenthood. Donate time, or money, or blog space. Write a letter to the editor, and to your representative, and to your senator, or attend a rally. Do something. Anything. Get involved. Stay involved.

Women need to control their reproduction, or they’re not free.



Filed under asshattery, choice, feminism, I get pissed

I put my money where my mouth is – 2


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Filed under I get pissed

The War on Women

I’ve been angry a lot lately. And angry, and angry, and more angry. Oh, hey, did I mention angry?

Each of those links leads to a news story wherein a woman’s right to safe and legal choice is being diminished. There is an ALL OUT WAR on women’s reproductive freedom in the United States right now. It is happening in more states than I am comfortable counting, and it is being waged without the slightest bit of humility, understanding, or sympathy. IT IS REAL, and I find it unconscionable.

Women NEED reproductive freedom. It’s not a luxury. It’s not an afterthought. It is an ESSENTIAL part of healthcare, AND an essential component of freedom. It is not negotiable, and there is no room for compromise.

Without reproductive freedom (the ability to access and choose safe and reliable birth-control, and abortion) women become subjugates of lawmakers. Their political autonomy ceases to exist, as they have been defined as incubators.

Stay informed. Add Rh Reality Check to your news feed. Visit Keep Your Boehner Out of My Uterus daily (@scatx does a great job of collecting and disseminating information and links). Sign up for news and alerts at the Planned Parenthood Action Center, and at NARAL. Donate money. Donate time. Attend a rally. Write to your Representative. Contact your Senator. Write a Letter to the Editor. Post some information on your Facebook page. Blog about it. Don’t remain silent. SPEAK UP. Remain in the conversation. Decisions are made by those who show up. SHOW UP. VOTE.

This onslaught of anti-choice, and anti-woman legislation will not go away on its own. There is no compassion or understanding in this movement. IT MUST BE CHALLENGED.

Today, my challenge to you, dear readers, is to click one of the links in the above paragraph. Just one. Pick the best way for you to take action, and do it. Read some of the links from the first paragraph. Educate yourself. Understand what is happening. Even if you don’t live in one of the states with the most aggressive attacks, understand that they are still important, because, as women, as defenders of women’s freedom, an attack on one woman, is an attack on us all.


Filed under asshattery, I get pissed

Conversation with my father

My dad and I talk infrequently on the phone. Maybe once a month, sometimes even less often. He called this weekend and we talked about life, and nursing toddlers. It went something like this;

Me: I’m thinking about weaning O.
Him: Really? I’m surprised. I figured you’d let him wean organically when he was ready. You know, ’cause you’re kind of ‘earthy’ that way.
Me: Yeah, I know, but I’d sorta like my nights back. But I’m really excited to hear you say that you’re surprised that I’m thinking of weaning. A lot of people are surprised that I’m still nursing him. Plus, some people are weirded out that I’m nursing a toddler.
Him: Yeah, well, some people are fucking stupid.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why my dad rocks.


Filed under breastfeeding, funny stuff, O

Mom friends

I’ve been thinking about mom friends a lot lately.

I’ve been thinking that it would be nice to have friends here who also have children. But I’ve had trouble finding those people – or maybe I’ve found people who have children, but have had a hard time making them my friends.

Why is that? I’m a nice person. I’m reasonably friendly, I’m pleasant, can make decent small talk, and I’m pretty good about showing up when I say I’m going to show up. Seems to me I should be able to find one or two people to hang out with.

I’ve decided that the problem I’ve had with making mom friends comes down to the idea of the shared experience. The idea that just because we both have children we should be, or can be, friends. Because, really? I don’t think that’s enough of a reason to be friends with someone. It feels sort of like saying I should be friends with anyone who went to my college. It might be enough to talk about for a few minutes, but it’s not enough to lay the foundation of lasting friendship on. At least I don’t think so.

I’m not friends with everyone I went to college with (in fact, I’m not friends with anyone I went to college with…pattern much?). It would be ridiculous to assume that I would be friends with everyone I went to college with. I mean, there were so many different types of people – I couldn’t possibly be expected to get along with all of them. (I might have been expected to get along with some of them…)

So, back to mom friends. Within the scope of parenthood, like a college campus, there are dozens of different types of people. It’s not surprising at all that it’s hard to make friends. Especially when it seems like parents fall into a pattern of talking about their children – a lot. How will I ever know that we like the same movies? And read the same books? And listen to the same music if all we ever talk about are diapers and sleeping? I’m guilty of it – I talk about my kid when faced with other parents because it’s our shared experience. Put any two parents in a room together and they’ll find something to talk about. And that’s nice. But it’s also hard to move past sometimes.

Because eventually you’ll run out of the patience to talk about teething, and eating, and sleeping, and pre-schools, and pediatricians. And you’ll want to talk about something non-parent related and you’ll find out that you and this other person have very little in common. And you’ll both stand there and politely smile at one another, hoping desperately that a little body will require assistance so you can wander off without being perceived as rude.

So, here I am. Kind of sick of talking about my kid all the time. But finding it hard to get from chatting about my kid, to connecting with someone.

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Filed under culture, life balance, parenting

Whip ‘Em Out! – It’s What Breasts are for!

This is not what I intended to put up today, but I cannot resist. Especially after yesterday’s post.


(h/t to PhD in Parenting for the video)

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Filed under breastfeeding


Ladies and Gentleman, pay attention because CBS is going to enlighten us, the unenlightened, about situations where breastfeeding could get awkward.

I’ll admit, I was intrigued by the front page. There’s a very lovely picture of an angelic babe demonstrating a perfect latch while gazing lovingly at what I can only presume is mom’s face. There is no nursing cover, no sling tail, no t-shirt pulled up to the baby’s nose. Just baby’s face and mom’s breast.

The tagline reads,

“Breast is best for baby….But just where and when a woman should nurse her baby remains a matter of debate. Here are some situation that could get seriously awkward.”

I thought that since CBS had such a perfect pro-breastfeeding image up, the picture montage must have something worth reading, right? WRONG.

Let the fun begin! According to CBS, breastfeeding can get awkward:

  • In front of men (Oh noes! The men, they can’t see the breasts!)
  • In front of kids (They see worse in a commercial during the Super Bowl)
  • In a restaurant (because breast milk can transmit HIV, dontcha know? To be fair, this isn’t entirely untrue, HIV can be spread through breast milk to babies, but not adults. CBS doesn’t clarify that, though. Breast milk is NOT a biohazard, thankyouverymuch.)
  • It bears repeating that CBS thinks breastfeeding can get awkward IN PUBLIC.

CBS seems to think that the only place breastfeeding won’t get awkward is in THE PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN HOME. Do you hear that breastfeeding moms? STAY HOME, lest things get awkward. (Oh, but wait – if you’re home and breastfeeding please make sure there are no men or children around, as per awkward situations 1 & 2.)

I’m so tired of this underhanded bullshit. Breast is best, but we’re going to do everything we can to undermine a woman’s decision to breastfeed by telling her that it might make other people uncomfortable, and reminding her that, as a woman, she has a cultural responsibility to not to make other people uncomfortable.

They finish each slide off with a link to “Vote now: Should moms be allowed to breast-feed anywhere?” Fortunately 89% of respondents put on their smart caps this morning and clicked the button for “Yes, women should be allowed to breastfeed anywhere.” (Why the hell this is even a discussion is beyond me…oh wait, because 4% of respondents think babies in public should be eating from bottles, or starving until they can be sequestered in a private space alone. Possibly in the dark too, so that the baby doesn’t see mom’s breast.)

Breasts are for feeding, CBS. Wrap your brains around it. Make peace with it. Move on to something important.


Filed under asshattery, breastfeeding