Milestones in parenting

So, Tuesday I was worried about leaving kidlet ALL DAY LONG, and wondering if I should go visit him at daycare. I decided not to because I figured going to daycare to see him was really more for me than for him, and I didn’t want to interfere in what was probably going to be a fine situation. And you know what? He was fine. He had a blast with his caregiver – he showed her all his toys, he got a bubble bath, and he went to sleep without any problems. He didn’t even know we weren’t here.

I think this is an awesome milestone I have reached as a parent. I know that his dad and I aren’t the only people who can care for him, but nights have been rough in this house for the past 2 years. Really, really rough. We probably could have done things differently to make them less rough, but whatever. We’re first time parents who are doing the best we can, and hoping our best doesn’t fuck him up any more than most kids might be. And finding a babysitter has been something I haven’t been ready to deal with because of the night challenges. I wasn’t sure how to find a sitter by saying, “Sometimes he wakes up 20 minutes after he goes down, and will continue to wake every 40 minutes for the rest of the night. You can handle that, right?” Because I was having trouble handling it, I didn’t feel right asking someone else to handle it. Projection, I know.

Anyway, his daycare provider has indicated that she would love to sit for him whenever she’s available, and I’m kind of excited about the opportunities this opens up for ME. Concerts, roller derby matches, Anthony Bourdain is coming to town…all of this stuff that for the past 2 years I’ve read wistfully about, is totally possible now. It’s a crazy feeling.

Know what else is crazy? My new haircut.


This is what it looked like before:


And just for fun: kidlet’s butt under a chair.


Next week I’ll talk about the 12th & Delaware screening.

Exciting stuff, ya’ll.

What was exciting and new in your week?



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6 responses to “Milestones in parenting

  1. I LOVE the haircut AND the pink. LOVE. I’ve been considering dyeing the underside of my hair a fun color for the summer but I am afraid I am too old and/or square for it.

    Of course, I just used the word “square” so I probably AM too old. But it looks so cute on you.

    We also do not have a baby sitter because how do you explain the entire routine to a 17 year old? “You have to sing him a song, but NOT itsy bitsy spider, even if he SAYS he wants itsy bitsy spider. Sing twinkle twinkle FIRST”. As if singing bedtime songs in the wrong order while I go see a damn movie in a theater would KILL HIM.

    Your parenting milestone has inspired me.

    • You are no way too old for underside color. It’s the super sneaky I’m-still-cool-and-in-your-face of hair color. DO IT. 🙂

      It’s funny, you type 17 year old, and I immediately think “ACK!!!” and then I remember that I was babysitting toddlers when I was 17.

  2. LOVE the hair. I used to have mine super short, and I’ve been thinking about going back, especially since O’s new favorite thing is to pull it out at the roots.
    We just actually tried out a new babysitter this morning. So far we have only had our neighbor come at night after they are already asleep (One time we came home to hear that JD had woken up but she had gotten him right back to sleep. I tried to play it cool, but I really wanted to cry and see how.) Putting 2 to bed myself is like a circus act- I can’t imagine the look I’ll get trying to explain it 😛

    • I had to restrain myself from writing out Type A instructions. “He needs to sit in the chair in his room while you read him the books he hands you, but YOU can’t sit in the chair with him, you have to sit on the floor, or he gets really upset and pushes you.” It helped immensely that we left him with someone who can get him down for a nap by telling him it’s nap time. WHAT????

  3. I, too, love the hair!

    And congratulations on some childcare! That’s huge! A big transition for the parents, and I think less of one for the kiddo in many cases.

    Your child might be like Maybelle in this way: she’s very savvy about what she can get from different people. She changes her behavior to fit the childcare provider. Last night, for instance, we had a babysitter who put her to bed. She fussed, and he went in and sang to her. “What did you sing?” I asked. “The ABCs,” he said. That cracked me up–I don’t think she’d accept that from me, but from the babysitter who was doing his best? Fine–she went to sleep.

    • Thanks!

      I definitely think O is like Maybelle in that regard. I know he behaves very differently for his daycare caregivers than he does for us. Kids are super savvy about stuff like that. And incredibly adaptable. I need to remember that more often.

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