1st kid neuroses – I have ‘em!

Today kidlet will get dropped off at daycare, and I won’t see him again until he wakes up tomorrow (Wednesday) morning. (Let me be clear that he will wake up around 3 a.m. It will, technically, be morning.)

Usually, on Tuesday I pick him up from daycare around 5 and home we go. Tomorrow though, the mister and I are going to Richmond to attend a screening of 12th and Delaware. In order to get there for the 6:30 p.m. start time, I’ll need to leave just shy of 5 p.m. I won’t be picking O up. Instead his daycare provider will be finishing her day, and bringing him home. She’ll feed him dinner, and put him to bed. (Hopefully without event.)

I’m really looking forward to seeing this documentary, and am very sure I’m leaving him in very capable hands. But I’m hardly gonna see my kid at all tomorrow. It’s a first for me.

In fact, I’m sitting here in the living room, kidlet is not more than 20 feet away from me in his room, and I miss him. (These are special circumstances, cut me some slack.) I want to sneak in there and watch his little chest rise and fall as he breathes…see his eyelashes resting on his little cheeks…WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?

I’m having an internal debate about going to see him for a little bit tomorrow afternoon. I worry that I will make his day worse if I do that though, since typically when I show up to get him he hugs my knees and heads straight for his cubby, where he grabs his bag and starts waving good-bye to everyone. Clearly, when I show up, it’s time to go. If I go visit him, am I trying to make HIS day better, or am I trying to make MY day better? Ugh.

This will also be the…2nd time he’s been put to bed by someone other than me or his dad. Bedtimes haven’t been any sort of picnic in this house (Getting him to sleep is easier now – but the art of keeping him asleep? Well, I’m still waiting for that ship to come in.), and we just got stuck in this “we’re the only ones who should have to do this” rut. So now I have this vision of him being confused and sad because we’re not around, and WE put him to bed and OHMAHMAUDE, WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO ME?!!?!? running around in his little head.

Ugh.

He’ll be fine. I know this. I need to get through it, so I can do it again, and NOT be stressed out about it.

Right?

 

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6 Comments

Filed under O, parenting

6 responses to “1st kid neuroses – I have ‘em!

  1. Jay

    II didn’t *think* I had first-child neurosis, but we didn’t leave Eve with a babysitter at night until she was nearly two. Just – never got around to it. I was, perhaps, more neurotic than I thought.

    Hope it goes well, and that you enjoy it.

    • It went really well. I decided NOT to go see him, and he was great for his sitter. He was a little extra clingy the next day, but otherwise – he’s a pretty adaptable kid. Probably more adaptable than his mama.

  2. hughtube

    We leave our kid at least once a week with my sister to put him down and he’s had various babysitters and grandparents. But it still doesn’t stop me from being neurotic. He was sleeping fine through the night, then got off schedule and now hasn’t slept through the night in a month! I thought mine was the only 2 year old who was waking up screaming at night. And then, of course, we put him in our bed. So now we’re on a bad cycle. Tonight we are doing (drum roll)…Ferber method. I’ll let you know how it goes.

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