I’m itching to start another quilt, and I’ve got some fabric that’s been hanging around for awhile, so I pulled it out. I have no idea what I’m going to do with it., but I’m absolutely in love with the color palette.
I met a blogger that I read the other day! And I acted weird. I figured out a week or so ago that her son goes to O’s daycare and when we were both there for pickup at the same time I got excited and introduced myself. And when she asked if I had a blog I froze and said, “No….”
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?
As I realized I was lying to her, I started to think of how I could gracefully correct myself without becoming the “weird lady at daycare,” and couldn’t come up with anything so I just smiled and listened to her talk. As best I can tell, I lied because my blog is semi-private. By which I mean there are very few people who I know from the non-interwebs that know about it. I do this so that I can retain some freedom with what I write about, and because sometimes its easier to talk to my blogging friends than it is my face-to-face friends.
For instance, today I was thinking about blogging about how one of the caregivers at daycare bugs me. And I started to think, well, if this other blogger knew that I had a blog, and read my blog (Of COURSE she would read my blog. You do. And I am FOREVER grateful that you do!), I would feel weird complaining about someone she also knows, and entrusts the care of her child to.
Since she doesn’t read my blog, I can talk about the caregiver. She’s perfectly adequate, she just doesn’t seem very warm. There are 3 women that work there, and 2 of them are always on the floor with the kids, cuddling, or playing. The third…she’s just kind of…there. For instance, if I had the opportunity to hire her as a sitter, I probably wouldn’t. Though, she is the one who gets my kid to take a nap easy peasy. So maybe her strength is napping, and the other caregivers are the lovey ones. I figure this is the first, in what I’m sure will be a long line of things, where I learn to let go, and let adequate be fine.
Back to lying. Maybe it makes sense, maybe it doesn’t. Maybe I haven’t really figured out how committed I am to blogging, or how committed I am to potentially pissing people off. (Which should give those of you who knew me 20 years ago a good chuckle. When did I start giving a shit about pissing people off if I was confident about what I was saying? Age made me soft is all I can say.) I’ve been thinking a lot about becoming public. Letting my family and more of my friends know about it, because while retaining some freedom is nice, keeping secrets is exhausting. And I’m probably not gonna write anything that I wouldn’t talk to people about anyway. And if they don’t like it, fuck ’em.
Or something like that.
What about you? Is your blog “public”? Or do you strive to retain some anonymity?