Who are these people without their child?!?

Woah! Yesterday we went out without our kid. And wondered what we were going to talk about. Because there was all this extra space. And no one needed to chase a toddler, or give him food, or pick something up off the floor, or entertain him. I’ll say it again, WOAH!

So what did we do? Well, first we spent…an hour (maybe more) trying to come up with something to do in the afternoon that was nearby, would be entertaining, and that we hadn’t done before. Because I didn’t want to waste our child-free time doing what we would have done if we’d had the kid; I thought that would defeat the purpose. Bowling? Hmm…maybe. Movie? We don’t even know what’s playing. Restaurant? Well, we’ve been to most of the ones we’ve wanted to try, plus 2:30 on a Saturday afternoon isn’t optimal restaurant going time. Shopping? While it was enticing to be able to try clothes on without rushing to beat the meltdown, it didn’t seem very date-like. Wine tasting? Yes, please!

There are easily 20 wineries within an hour of our house, only one of which we’ve ever been to. (Because we are wine snobs, and have mostly maintained that Virginia wines aren’t very good. I’m still not convinced they’re amazing, but I’m coming around to their worth.) We picked one about 3 miles from our house, and headed off.


Wine tasting is actually more fun than I have previously maintained. However, the amount of fun it is is directly related to the knowledge and enthusiasm of your pourer. Yesterday, ours was kind of bored with the process. I asked her a question about Riesling (because I know exactly nothing about wine, except that there are some I like to drink more than others), “What is the distinction between a Johannisburg Riesling and a Riesling?” And her response was, “It’s just a type of Riesling.” Um, okay. Maybe I phrased my question poorly, but I kinda wanted to know what made it a Johannisburg. If anyone knows, please educate me.

Picnik collage

Once we were done tasting we decided to sit outside in the sun freezing cold and have some wine, along with some cheese and crackers. We each had a glass before we decided that we were not dressed for the wind chill. Plus, the foliage view has been sort of disappointing this year, so that wasn’t enough to tempt us to tough it out.

wine and hills

We had about two hours left before we were due home (really? we only killed an hour?) so we headed off to a restaurant to have more wine, and food, but in the comforts of a lovely heated environment.

It was really nice to be out without O. I did think about calling to see how he was doing, but he’s a pretty easy-going kid, I figured he was fine. And I missed him a little. It’s so unusual for me to be without him, that I was sort of lost. Really. I was actually nervous to spend time with my husband without O. Because I really did wonder what we would talk about. The first time we left O was in March, when my sister was visiting. We went out for dinner, and I don’t think we really talked, both because we were so fricken’ tired, but also because it was so weird to be alone. When you’re always hauling a kid with you, there’s pretty much always a distraction. What if without the distraction we had forgotten how to talk to each other?

As is its job, wine helped with my anxiety. We talked about plenty of stuff, enjoyed each other’s company thoroughly, went to two places we’d never been before (the winery, and the restaurant), ate some good food, and had a wonderful time.

One of the things I’ve liked about our relationship is that we’ve always been up for stuff we’ve never done before. That has become trickier since we had a baby, because babies are not always as adaptable as adults are. (Well, adults aren’t always adaptable, but they can usually take care of themselves, or at the very least tell you they’re unhappy without screaming at you. Usually.) It’s riskier to go someplace we’ve never been now, because we don’t know how child-friendly it’s going to be. Will there be a place to change him (I don’t even know why I wonder about this because we’re always changing his diaper in the back of the car anyway)? Will people glare at us for bringing him to a nicer-than-McDonald’s restaurant? Will the lines be long, or the service horrifically slow? Will we have gauged his good mood wrong and overestimated the amount of time we had until meltdown occurred? There’s so much more to consider when there’s a kid in the mix. So we do the same thing over and over, because it’s safe, and easy.

I’ve missed seeking out those new things. So yesterday was a much needed adventure for me. Even if it was only a small one.


Filed under family time, life balance

4 responses to “Who are these people without their child?!?

  1. We are the super classy people who actually BRING their baby to the vineyard. Several of them. Multiple times.

    This was a lovely description of what being a parent and a married person is like. We went through exactly the same stuff the, uh, one time we left the babe.

    Also, I keep forgetting you’re in VA. One of these days we will live/be close enough to meet.

    • The only other time we’ve been wine tasting in VA was when O was about…8 weeks old. We took O along, and he had a great time. I actually nursed and tasted – it was scandalous.

      That was the trip where my husband learned that man-with-baby + bachelorette party = LOTS of early 20-something women paying attention to man baby.

  2. Janine

    love it. good for you.
    and I totally get what you mean about figuring out/remembering how to connect and talk without the kid(s).

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