Ladies and Gentleman, pay attention because CBS is going to enlighten us, the unenlightened, about situations where breastfeeding could get awkward.
I’ll admit, I was intrigued by the front page. There’s a very lovely picture of an angelic babe demonstrating a perfect latch while gazing lovingly at what I can only presume is mom’s face. There is no nursing cover, no sling tail, no t-shirt pulled up to the baby’s nose. Just baby’s face and mom’s breast.
The tagline reads,
“Breast is best for baby….But just where and when a woman should nurse her baby remains a matter of debate. Here are some situation that could get seriously awkward.”
I thought that since CBS had such a perfect pro-breastfeeding image up, the picture montage must have something worth reading, right? WRONG.
Let the fun begin! According to CBS, breastfeeding can get awkward:
- In front of men (Oh noes! The men, they can’t see the breasts!)
- In front of kids (They see worse in a commercial during the Super Bowl)
- In a restaurant (because breast milk can transmit HIV, dontcha know? To be fair, this isn’t entirely untrue, HIV can be spread through breast milk to babies, but not adults. CBS doesn’t clarify that, though. Breast milk is NOT a biohazard, thankyouverymuch.)
- IN PUBLIC
- It bears repeating that CBS thinks breastfeeding can get awkward IN PUBLIC.
CBS seems to think that the only place breastfeeding won’t get awkward is in THE PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN HOME. Do you hear that breastfeeding moms? STAY HOME, lest things get awkward. (Oh, but wait – if you’re home and breastfeeding please make sure there are no men or children around, as per awkward situations 1 & 2.)
I’m so tired of this underhanded bullshit. Breast is best, but we’re going to do everything we can to undermine a woman’s decision to breastfeed by telling her that it might make other people uncomfortable, and reminding her that, as a woman, she has a cultural responsibility to not to make other people uncomfortable.
They finish each slide off with a link to “Vote now: Should moms be allowed to breast-feed anywhere?” Fortunately 89% of respondents put on their smart caps this morning and clicked the button for “Yes, women should be allowed to breastfeed anywhere.” (Why the hell this is even a discussion is beyond me…oh wait, because 4% of respondents think babies in public should be eating from bottles, or starving until they can be sequestered in a private space alone. Possibly in the dark too, so that the baby doesn’t see mom’s breast.)
Breasts are for feeding, CBS. Wrap your brains around it. Make peace with it. Move on to something important.