I’m afraid O and I are in the beginning of one. 😦
Yesterday he nursed, as usual, just before his nap around 10 a.m.. He didn’t nurse again for the rest of the day. I offered several times, and each time he would turn his head.
I was perplexed by it, and a little worried, but not overly so. I figured when he went to bed he’d definitely want to nurse, since he nurses to sleep. But he didn’t. He put his mouth near my nipple and started to cry. Big, mouth open, frowny lips crying. So I put him on my shoulder and patted his back for a little bit, and then offered again. Same response. It broke my heart, and I started to cry too.
Instead of nursing to sleep, I walked with him. With tears running down my cheeks, thinking to myself, “I am so sorry that I ever wished this away.”
I don’t know what precipitated this. I remember that he bit me a few times today as I offered, but I don’t remember having an extreme response. I’ve read that a dramatic response can scare babies, and cause a nursing strike. Maybe I wasn’t as calm as I thought I was. Maybe he’s teething, or doesn’t feel well.
I’ve been thinking about weaning lately. Not in any serious manner, just knowing that’s it’s potentially on the horizon. I’ve assumed that I wouldn’t have any overly sentimental feelings about it. That I might miss it, but that I would welcome the end. And maybe I will. But not like this.
I’m trying not to think about tomorrow. I’m hoping that by the time this post is up, he will have woken and nursed eagerly, as if nothing had happened.