Doonesbury takes on forced ultrasounds

The Doonesbury comic strip is no stranger to controversy, and this week Trudeau takes on mandatory pre-abortion ultrasound legislation. Several papers have decided NOT to run this week’s story arc, while others have moved it from the comics page to the editorial page. If you find the strip in your paper, either on the comics page, or the editorial page, please shoot a short email to the editor thanking them for running it.

Trudeau talked about the series in The Washington Post and said,

I chose the topic of compulsory sonograms because it was in the news and because of its relevance to the broader battle over women’s health currently being waged in several states. For some reason, the GOP has chosen 2012 to re-litigate reproductive freedom, an issue that was resolved decades ago. Why [Rick] Santorum, [Rush] Limbaugh et al. thought this would be a good time to declare war on half the electorate, I cannot say. But to ignore it would have been comedy malpractice.

Thanks for standing up against the #waronwomen Trudeau!

Fist bump to feminist parents

While I was busy neglecting the blog, and goofing off recuperating from the last 3 weeks of ass kicking I’ve been enduring at work, I got a BIG shout out over on the Ms. Magazine blog. Seriously y’all. Me. At Ms. *swoon*

Avital Norman Nathman, of The Mamafesto is doing a series of posts for Ms. in honor of Women’s History Month, and she turned her focus to moms (and dads) blogging about parenting, and feminism. And mentioned me. (In case you missed it: *SWOON.*)

Yep. I’m tooting my own horn.

(And now I guess I should actually write some meaningful stuff. Oy. The pressure!)

Me. In 11 bullet points.

I need something easy to pull me back to the blog, and Suzanne cosmically offered it to me.

The fine print: Post a picture of yourself, tell us 11 things we might not know about you, then write 11 new questions and tag some friends to play along (let them know you tagged them!) (<—lifted exactly from Suzanne’s post. I’m THAT lazy tired.)

11 Things About Me:

1. I’m left handed.
2. I’ve had my nose pierced for 20 years. It’s the only time I’ve ever been ahead of a trend.
3. I grew up in the California Bay Area, but now live in Central Virginia. Dorothy, we are not in Kansas anymore.
4. I have an amazing network of friends that I’ve never actually met. Seriously y’all. These women are some of my closest friends, and our friendships exist entirely in the virtual world.
5. When I was 3 or 4, the four front teeth on my upper jaw needed to be capped. The caps were silver. I had a grill before it was a thing. (Oh! This makes me reconsider #2.)
6. I’m short and loud. (Pretend you’re surprised about the ‘loud’ part.)
7. I used to be a respite volunteer for a hospice. It was an amazing experience.
8. I have been a reproductive rights activist since I knew what an abortion was. So, sometime around 3rd grade.
9. I have no idea what’s happening in pop culture. I sort of tried to watch the Oscars, and didn’t know who half the actors were. (See also: I’m old.)
10. I don’t think I could live without bread. Or music. Or books. Okay, so this list could get long.
11. I’m terrible at thinking of things to say about myself. Really. I’ve spent an hour on this… Is there anything you want to know?

Here are the questions Suzanne posed:

1. What is your favorite color and has it changed over the years?

It’s red, and it’s definitely changed over the years. I used to prefer blue over other colors. I also really like orange, which I used to hate. 

2. How well do you remember your first kiss? Details, please.

Ha! I don’t remember it at all. I’m not sure what that says about me…

3. Where is your favorite vacation spot?

Anywhere with a beach and good food. I don’t have a lot of experience vacationing in places that don’t involve visiting relatives (though I’m aiming to change that), but the places that I find the most restful are on the ocean. 

4. How many siblings do you have and are they older or younger?

I’m the oldest of four. My immediately closest sister is 2 years younger than me, then my brother is 17 years younger than me, and then my sister who is 21 years younger than me.

5. What are the baby names you used to LOVE but haven’t/wouldn’t ever use?

I got nothin’ for this.

6. What was your first car?

The first car I ever bought was a 1976 SuperBug convertible. It was purple. After about a week I hated it.

7. How do you feel about trivia games?

LOVE THEM. (Unless there are pop culture questions. And then I’m sunk.)

8. What is the worst job you’ve ever had?

I had a job doing data entry for a distribution company. I was terrible at it. It wasn’t a bad job, I just couldn’t ever manage to get the 16 character product numbers input in the right order. I’m pretty sure the account I was in charge of wasn’t sad to see me go.

9. What movie do you watch every time it’s on TV (even though you probably own it)?

When Harry Met Sally. 

10. Do you collect anything?

Not intentionally, though I do have a small collection of various star things. A star signet ring. Several star ornaments, etc. Oh! I just remember. I collect those goofy souvenir pressed pennies. I try to get one every place we go. 

11. What color is your house and would you change it if you could?

It’s a light yellow. I’d change it if I could. I’d like a dusty, steel blue, with bright white trim, and a bright red door. Someday….

My questions:

1. Where have you lived in the course of your life?
2. Where would you like to live before you die?
3. What do you think about before you go to bed at night?
4. Do you have a bike? Do you ride it?
5. What’s your favorite book?
6. What’s the last great book you read?
7. What’s a song that tells your story?
8. What’s your favorite smell?
9. Would you do things differently if you could go back and have a do-over?
10. Who would play you in the movie?
11. Do you have a favorite cocktail? What is it?

Okay, I’m supposed to tag some other blogs, but I’m lousy at chain letters. HOWEVER – I LOVE to learn more about you, so answer some or all of the questions in the comments. Or, better yet, answer on your blog, and let me know you did.

Happy Monday, y’all!

Quick hits

Oh my word y’all. I’m tired. I’ve got a head cold. I’m up to my eyeballs in work. I don’t feel like I’ve had two minutes to sit quietly and do nothing in the last two weeks, let alone come over here and say Hi.

I’m working with my boss to plan a conference. HOLY SHITBALLS planning a conference is a ridiculous amount of work. She kept saying, “You’ve planned a wedding, you’ll be great!” Well, yes, except with my wedding? Was pretty low-keyish. And I didn’t care if stuff didn’t happen the way it was supposed to. And I wasn’t worried about people thinking I was competent. A conference? Worried about those things.

Anyway, it’s tomorrow and Thursday, and then the thing will be behind me. And next year when she asks me to help I’ll forget all of this stress and jump at the opportunity to challenge myself again. Because I have a short memory for stress. It’s probably a coping mechanism.

Also? If you haven’t been paying attention, there is a stupid amount of anti-reproductive choice legislation whooshing it’s way through a number of states right now. (The Guttmacher Institute does a fantastic job of highlighting what’s happening where.) I’ve been busy writing letters and making phone calls which – in Virginia – seems like it might have actually made a small difference, since the state legislature backed down on a few bills last week. So, WRITE LETTERS. MAKE CALLS. If you haven’t signed up to receive action alerts from Planned Parenthood DO IT NOW. They make it so easy to add your voice. They send you an email that says, “We need your help! Contact your legislator. Click this link.” And then you click the link, see if you agree with PP’s position, add your name and they do the rest. It’s easy and effective. DO IT.

Okay, well, that’s the last free 5 minutes I have for the next two days.

TGIF y’all.

It’s been one hell of a shitastic week. A very dear friend of mine lost her pregnancy, and another was diagnosed with thyroid cancer a mere 10 days after delivering her second baby.

And then there’s all the political bullshit that’s been flying out of the Virginia State Assembly: if you’d like an abortion in VA you’ll need to have an ultrasound 24 hours before the procedure can be performed. Of course, that assumes there will be anyone left to perform them in the state, AND it assumes that it will be legal to obtain one at all. Virginia sure has been busy these last 4 weeks, gunning for the most anti-choice state award. Sadly, it looks like they’ve got first place pretty well locked up.

BUT, while all this has been flying around, I’ve had this on repeat.

Tell me what was good in your week?

Lock up your daughters!

Tomorrow’s Valentines Day! What better way to celebrate than with this t-shirt for your little boy!

OMFG Target. Are you kidding me with this?

This, my dear friends, is not cool. It’s not cool because it portrays boys as predators. Because it sends the message that it is okay for boys to act in a sexually aggressive manner, and that it’s even cute. It’s not okay because it suggests that girls need to be locked up to keep them safe from the uncontrollable urges that boys find themselves awash in.  It’s not okay because it says that it’s all damn normal. Isn’t it cute to normalize predatory sexual innuendo? FOR CHILDREN. (That t-shirt is a size 18mos. I found it in the toddler section at Target.)  (I’m pretty sure this was a tactic of the Taliban. Keeping women inside to ‘protect’ them from men who couldn’t control their sexual urges. This is an adorable philosophy to emulate, Target!)

And also? My son is not a predator. My son is not a rapist.

Wait. Rape? Who said anything about rape? Well, that shirt does. It says, “Keep your daughters away from me, because otherwise I might do something I can’t control, and can’t be held accountable for!” and because it’s cute-ified (is that a word?) on a t-shirt, we can all sit back and laugh about it. “Oh..haha…it’s cuuuuute.”

I bombed Twitter with this picture Saturday after I took it because I was so pissed about it, and one of my followers posted on Target’s Facebook page,

Very disappointed to see shirts that say “Lock up your daughters!” being sold at Target. Way to further perpetrate rape culture on Valentines Day just to make a buck.

The responses in the comments?

I just cannot handle anymore people being so overly sensitive!! Why is everyone always offended about everything??? How in the world is a little boys shirt “perpetrating rape culture”???

How does that sound remotely close to rape? Geez! I’m going to lock up my daughters from people like YOU.

I’ve read a lot of stupid posts on this page but this just takes the cake. I cannot understand how in the world anyone could be offended by that shirt!!

These are being sold in the boys dept? Aw, if I saw a little guy wearing one, I’d probably chuckle. If I saw a grown man wearing one, I’d think yeah right, dummy… now rape would never enter my mind. Especially on a little boy, geez.

Maybe you should analyze yourself and find out why you think a harmless little boys’ shirt is promoting rape. And this has nothing to do with defending Target. More like defending rationalism and common sense.

it seems people will find anything to complain about. I’ve seen that little boys shirt and there is nothing wrong with it!

Not surprisingly, the t-shirt is harmless and she’s (an I’m) too sensitive and over reacting. Yay! Rape culture and silencing all in one place!

I get it, I do. It’s just a t-shirt  but that t-shirt, combined with the idea that the message it’s sending is okay, partnered with all the other sex and gender messages that kids are fed combine to create an environment where men feel emboldened to commit acts of sexual violence because they’ve been told all their lives that it’s okay. Not too long ago I read something that said one of the reasons that sexually aggressive behavior is so common among  early-twenties men is because when they’re all sitting around in a group talking about sex, and women, and the talk takes an aggressive turn, no one speaks up. No one says, “Oh, shit, you had sex with her while she was passed out? Dude, you’re a fucking rapist.” Instead they all sit there uncomfortably and smirk at one another. No one wants to be THAT guy, so the behavior goes unchecked. And the more often men observe other men’s behavior going unchecked the more their own behavior is emboldened.

So, when I see shit like this, I check it. This is me checking the behavior. I’m that guy. And I’m okay with it.

The Mamafesto has a post up today that talks about kids clothing and gender messages too, you should check it out. (We didn’t even coordinate!)

Who does your body belong to?

I’ve run across this twice in 2 days – the idea that a person’s body (in one case it was a woman’s body, and in the other there was no sex/gender specified), within the context of a marriage, does not belong solely to themselves.

The first instance was in an interview former Victoria’s Secret model Kylie Bisutti gave to George Stephanopoulos on Good Morning America. At about 0:47 in the interview she says that, “[She] became so convicted about wanting to honor [her] husband with [her] body,” that she quit modeling for Victoria’s Secret. And then around 1:58 George asks her, “How did your husband handle all this? Did he have problem with you modeling?”

The second place I encountered this idea was a blog post on the website Simple Marriage, How to have great sex when you’re not in the mood. (Bolded emphasis is mine.)

Who you practice being in your most intimate life is a huge factor in how you truly see yourself.

Plus, if you are married, your body does not strictly belong to you. It belongs to you and your mate.

In my mind, my body is MINE. It is ONLY MINE. It is mine to choose with whom I will share it, and in what manner. And when I hear things, or read things, that suggest that my body is owed to someone other than me, I get really damn twitchy.

What do you think?